Recently I’ve been working with some folks on the next release cycle for some software. It’s a big release, and I’ve been pushing them to Do Things Right as they re-organise some code and make other changes.
Exactly what isn’t important, but I think they see my comments as aggressive – some probably are, but others are likely mis-interpreted from me being a Brit outsider to their mostly US company (different cultures, nothing xenophobic), and from the decoupling of feelings from expressions limited by the keyboard. I’m passionate about what I’m saying, even for the small details that in the grand scheme of things, really don’t matter too much.
I just caught ten minutes of One Born Every Minute, where a couple talked through their experiences of having, then losing their son at six days old. You may know how fortunate we’ve been with Smidge and Smudge, but this couple’s story brought me back to a friend who did lose an extremely premature twin at 10 days old. The day I first heard about the twin dying, I was in tears as it was all too close to home.
Needless to say, watching that program made me realise that while it’s good to be passionate about whether code is written in a certain way, it really means fuck all in the real world.
Tomorrow I’ll probably go back to being passionate about the code in question, but tonight I want to apologise to those (who’ll know who they are) I’ve been giving a hard time in the last few days and weeks. It’s nothing meant personally, I just care for your product and want to help make it the best I can, but I need a reality check, to step back and consider shifting that care to the things in life that really matter to me – my family.