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Congratulations to Elisabeth

Elisabeth
Elisabeth is someone I got to know at university. She was studying in Austria, then took part in the Erasmus Exchange, which saw her come and study in MMU for a short while. We kept in touch when she left, even if it’s nothing more than an email at Christmas. Her good news this year is that she got married! I only have the one wedding piccy she sent:


Neil and Elisabeth

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Dead Laptop

Unfortunately Katie’s laptop hard drive is playing silly b’s so I haven’t had access to the net, and won’t do for another few days at least. In the mean time I’ve made some friends with the WAGs of the men Katie works with, hence this access via Sarah’s laptop (thanks!). Lots going on, and everything is fine. Got a trip to KL planned for the weekend after this one, but hopefully should be back online before then, and I might finally be able to get the Sydney posts written!

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Leaving Meal

Last night I headed back down to Dorch for the last time, for the leaving meal for work. A very enjoyable meal, with lovely company, and some laughs and chats. All great, and pictures should be following shortly. Many thanks to Alan who also paid for mine and Sarah’s meals, as well as being official photographer for the night, AND organising getting my remaining stuff back from work. Ta muchly for Sarah for driving to and from the meal as well - I hope the “puncture” clears itself up!In the end there were 9 of us for the meal (another 3 had come for earlier drinks), although initially 18 had said they were come. Some colleagues hadn’t been able to make the meal, and had either met me earlier for drinks, or told me they couldn’t make it for various reasons. Fair enough. Some just hadn’t bothered turning up - they (and others) know who they are. They may have had their reasons, but there’s never a reason for a lack of politeness. Consequently there won’t be the chance to say the goodbyes which might be just as well.

Well I was paying attention! Tucking in Margaret looking a bit worried Ann caught mid-glance - she was not drunk! Margaret, Gary and Will

Well that’s me done with Dorset for the time being. I’m still technically employed by the college until the 16th November, though I’m now using up all the leave I had left, so I can get out to Malaysia quicker. I’ve just received a nice supportive email from one of the lecturers, so that will be archived to remember my time there. Overall I enjoyed working there, and would want to work in prisons again given the chance - my stock saying is that you can teach there, rather than child mind, like you do in school. The good news is that there might be some odd days of work creating spreadsheets and the like, while I’m away in Malaysia, giving me something to keep my brain occupied, and some pocket money to boot.

Gary and Gwyneth Judy, Gary and Ann Gary and Sarah Gary and Alan Jim and Gary (and Sarah)

Am I upset at leaving? Not really - I’ve done my time there, so to speak, I know I’ve worked damn hard to make sure the department as a whole ran as smoothly as possible, as well as just from my employer’s perspective. Added to that, knowing what’s coming up in the future (though as with most things it seems with me - plans change) in heading to Malaysia, and a holiday in Australia as well, means I’m a happy little soul right now (apart from the prep needed for the house and stuff before I go!).

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Poem: Ode to Dorch

Alan teaches in the classroom,
We know as the gold fish bowl,
Means we can see who’s winning the fight
Between some dude and Anthony Cole.

Jim said one day he had a sore tooth,
And was going to get it checked out,
I asked him the next day how was the dentist,
And he said, “Oh, he looked down in the mouth.”

Livia is the crazy girl,
She makes me smile, she’s nice,
Though there’s something we all know sunshine,
That was never your Muller Rice.

Upstairs Allan obviously teaches cleaning with a good few tricks,
They chat, drink tea and watch videos and still get a certificate for BICS.

Richard does the magazine,
Though now he’s also a dad,
We all wish the family well,
With Luca, their little lad.

Christina does the Yoga,
“I love it!” a prisoner said,
Though he then did fall over,
As he had his leg behind his head.

The IAG team at Dorchester,
Is Richard, Jackie and Lynn,
The great service that they provide,
Is offered to all who come in.

Margaret teaches on D Wing,
Which is always rather merry,
Especially trying to control our friend,
The wonderful Mr Perry.

Jane does the IT,
Including how to type a letter,
I wish her well and hope,
That her back soon gets better.

Margot teaches Literacy,
Down in room 3,
Even I now know,
How to use the apostrophe.

Anne, Judy, Ginny and Roger are great,
They can cover anything,
I know that when I am stuck for a class,
I can always give them a ring.

Lesley teaches lots of groups,
With lots of different lads,
The one I think she most enjoys,
Is Story Book Dads.

Karen teaches Barbering,
Which is something quite rare,
Would you let a prisoner with clippers,
Come anywhere near your hair?

Marion joined us recently,
Though she hasn’t lost her ties,
Half the time she’s not here,
As she’s forced to work at Guys.

Lisa is seen to run the show,
And is very often stressed,
We all know there’s chocolate though,
Somewhere on her desk.

Stuart is more in the background,
Making sure we all have our goals,
And that is why he works,
As the HMP Dorchester HoLS,

And then there’s me, little old me, like Mickey Mouse in Fantasia,
I’ve done my best, so I’m having a rest, and now I’m off to Malaysia.

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The day after the Night in Liverpool

Our Old House

Was awake at 7:30 even though I’d only got to sleep at about 3am. Still managed to doze on and off until about 10am when I heard movement downstairs. We had breakfast, a quick tidy up, then a quick game of Tiger Woods ‘08 before I left. Saz and Phil headed for B&Q while I decided to take an impromptu 2 hour detour from driving home by driving cross-country to North Lincs to see my Nan. I didn’t know if she’d be in, or if it would be convenient to “drop-in”, but meh, what the heck.

My Old HouseI also stopped off at Woolston, Warrington to see our old house; it’s been 20 years and 1 month since we moved out, and the area still looks quite nice :o) Couldn’t find the primary school though, though I did find and remember the bus shelter where I’m convinced someone was going to try and kidnap me as a child!

I left Nan’s at 6pm, but with traffic jams clogging up the M1 due to sheer weight of traffic (where did they all come from on a Sunday night?!, I didn’t get home until 23:00. By the time I’ve done the bits on the computer, got my stuff ready for this week, gone to bed and woken up again, I’ll have had about 4 hours sleep. Oh well, should make the badminton interesting…

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Night time in Liverpool

Yesterday I drove up to Liverpool, taking about 4 hours. Not too bad, and it could have been a lot worse. Spent the evening doing Singstar on the PS2. Basically karaoke, but actually quite fun!

After a good night’s sleep, we got up, had bacon butties, played some Tiger Woods 2008 on the Wii, then went to watch the Marine game. Result, as they win 3-0, although the ref tried his best to disrupt the game with a few dodgy bookings. Drinks in the bar afterwards watching the England game, who strangely also win 3-0 against Estonia.

New people I met:

  • Sarah Davies (Phil’s missus - fairly quiet girl with a lovely personality)
  • friendly Tom (Funny and easy going, until the alcohol kicked in),
  • quiet Tom, Dave & Jane, Dave and Liz, Kate and Ste (Didn’t really speak to).

Also re-met:

  • Phil (The Birthday Boy, and general Scouse Git)
  • Bob Jones (Phil’s dad - likes and knows his history, a nice guy)
  • Trev (Hungover on this occasion, late for the match and needs a haircut ;o) )
  • Mark (Bruises from his fight with the pavement healing nicely - he’s a good lad)
  • Bong (Quiet member of the group, and likes to be thrashed at the Wii Tennis).

Saturday, we didn’t get to the KH unfortunately, but spent the night at Sarah’s (& Phil’s) instead. A good night, with games, more singing, lots of drinking, arguing, crying, stories, sports and some more drinking.

Tomorrow will be waking up, recovering and driving home. Back to work on Monday, with a badminton match in the evening.

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Poem: Ode To Kristen

KristenYour name is Kristen, and you live in Bermuda
The only word that kinda rhymes is barracuda.
You sit in the sun, drinking anything cold,
It’s not liquor cos ya sixteen years old.

Ya chat on the ’net talking to all the ickle peeps,
They tell you all their secrets, and you have them for keeps.
Ya do ya little website, with all the fairy things,
It changes every week, with what your mood brings.

Ya don’t go to school nearly every other day,
So ya can stay at home, with the Internet and play.
Ya change ya name from Skylar, through nightmare and Rain,
There’s so many of you it hurts my little brain.

The moral of this poem should you want to know,
Is listen to your friends if you’re feeling low.
We are here to help, and guide you if we can,
Sorting out your problems, usually about a man!

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