When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why
I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something
to solve my problem,
you have failed me,
strange as that may seem.Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Don’t talk or do - just hear me.Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get
you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless.When you do something for me that I can
and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and
inadequacy.But when you accept as a simple fact
that I feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can stop trying to convince
you and get about this business
of understanding what’s behind
this irrational feeling.And when that’s clear, the answers are
obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when
we understand what’s behind them.Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes,
for some people - because God is mute,
and he doesn’t give advice or try
to fix things.
God just listens and lets you work
it out for yourself.So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute
for your turn - and I will listen to you.
Author Unknown
{ 4 } Comments
That poem has just taught me something I should probably have learned earlier in life. It is so true and so few people realise what it says. It is the natural response of most people - me most of all - to try and comfort and help in some way but now I will just listen. If there is something I can say or do, I will wait and think before saying or doing it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Linda.
I have to agree - I have a tendency to be practical, and want to help fix the problem, rather than doing the emotional thing and just listen. I’m not sure how I acquired this poem (probably a chain email), and I’d love to know who the original author was.
partners.aest.org.uk
I googled it and the author is unknown but it is on a site for survivors of sexual abuse. That makes it even more meaningful. Makes you remember that every person we see in every day has a history that we will never know about. This world is a dangerous place with us humans thinking we’re in charge. But there is plenty goodness around too. For some reason, we’re rarely told about the good bits :$ All we can do is cause the least harm possible and help when we can. So the author has made at least 2 of us think more than usual
Didn’t even think to search for it online myself. Of course, it doesn’t mean that the site you found is the original site, but as you said, it makes it more poignant if it was.
Thanks
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